Perplexed.

I found the person that I thought has the capability to make me whole again.

pero nakita nya rin ba ko? I was hurt a million times. hopes a million times. betrayed a million times. trusted a million times.LOVED a million times.

but did I learn? sa tingin ko hindi eh, kc if I did, sana di nako nasasaktan, di nko masasaktan, at di nako nasaktan. pero thats not the case, I always end up grieving. crying. kailan mo b ko mkikita? kailan mo ba ko mapapansin? bukas makalawa pb? or maybe you’ll find me when all hopes are lost. when the time that I already decided not to love again. not to be hurt again. will I refuse you? without knowing that i’m broken again? will I notice? will you forgive me if I did?

so many unanswered questions. sana dumating kna at masagot na natin dalawa ang mga tanong na bumabagabag sa isipan kong lito. sa puso kong pilit na naghahanap ng luwalhati at kapayapaan. pag dumating kb sa maling oras handa ba ulit akong buksan ang aking pinto? ang damdaming kinakalawang na.

sana makita mo n ko.

if ever you did please tell me u’ll be with me forever (if such exist), through doubts and sorrow, happiness and grief, resentment and acceptance.

acceptance.

will you accept me? will you accept me as what I am? who I am? and what I’m capable of? will you? I’m really looking forward to that scene that I wll see myself in the mirror happy. contented. whole.

be with me please. I beg you. make me whole again. mend my broken heart.

I dont know why I always end up hurted. when I love somebody I always do what I can to make that person happy. do all I can not to turn that person off, not to grudge and rue.

why is it inevitable?

please find me.

be with me.

love me.

make me whole again.